So, I was a vegetarian for more than two years, than I came to L'Arche and messed up. I mean, how can I encourage my core members to eat, if I am not eating. I'm going to try again, but I need support. I used to make the menu so we only mostly had non-meat protein (including fish, which I know is an animal). I would also be willing to eat locally farm (the old sort of farm) raised meat. I think. Maybe not, because I did read that if we stop eating the meat, and eat the grain they eat (thats grown for the overabundance of cows), we would have more food to share with starving people.

Why is life so confusing??? I wish I could stick more firmly to the things I believe. I wished my actions matched my aspirations, goals, etc. I guess I wish I was more disciplined.

some things I TRY to do to help others (including myself) out.

• Shopping at thrift stores (better for the environment, my wallet, etc)
• Eating simply
• buying minimal technology

Stuff I would like to work towards

• going back to vegetarianism
• packing all my lunches (not eating out, even at subway)
• reading instead of goofing of online.

I freaking love my job!! well its not even a job. i just love l'Arche so DARN much!!!!

I have been getting so many hugs, and kisses, and just little signs of appreciation, care and deep love. I love that my core members take care of me just as much as I take care of them. When my co-assistant accidentally punched me in the eye, my core members were VERY concerned. They asked about it when it happened, a few hours after, and the next day, when I had forgotten about it. Some of them simply asked if I was feeling better, whilst others said they'd "take care of (my co-assistant). HAHAHA. If I am getting teased, D.H. always says "HEEyyyy, Be nice to Abby, she's my friend". So darn cute. And then the hugs from Core members who just don't give hugs very often. They just almost break my heart because of how much I LOVE them. I can't believe I can love so much. I also love the plethera of names I am called. My nickname here is "Ida". My real name is Abigail, but most call me Abby. Hence, I am called Abigail, Ida, Abba, Ab, and Idy. Sometimes I am called pancake, or turkey, or waffle, and once in a while beer can, and young lady. LOL.

have to write in my blog more

We just had a LOVELY retreat with all the other l'Arche communities in the Western Region. Thats three in Washington State, 1 in Portland, OR, and one in Orange County, CA.

It was amazingly fun and fantastical to meet other assistants and core members. It was very inspiring to see everyone interacting. I was also excited to see some of the lovely folks we met at previous gatherings/retreats. Well there was really only one. lol.

My favorite moments were:

--observing the love among core members/assistants and the ease of relationships.

--singing a song from ACF (albright christian fellowship), called Blessed Be Your Name. Although I'm not a fan of the kind of Christianity from ACF I had a lot of good times there, and met some amazing folks, so it brought back memories. The song just seemed to fit better here than at ACF. i don't know why.

--Hanging out one on one with TK. just love that woman!

--Seeing P.K. one of our core members that moved to Tacoma. :)

But, L'arche isn't my only life though. I mean its a HUGE part of my life, but there are other things to talk/write about.

I'm reading this fantastical book called "Oil" by Upton Sinclair. He is an amazing writer. I loved his other book, The Jungle. I started reading it because it was on display at the Library, and thought of the Oil crisis. (what happens if the Oil goes everywhere??????). Anyway, its about corruption among politicians and business owners, and its prettty freaking crazy.

An example of that corruption: The main characters in the book Mr. Ross and his son, own an oil company. In order to be able to maintain their company, and make it grow, they had to join this organization that regulated how much they pay their employees, and also the employees hours and benefits. They regulate a low pay, AND do not allow them to schedule employees on eight hour shifts, rather than 12 hour shifts. So if the business owners decide to be humanitarian with their employees, and let them work reasonable, healthy hours, they would be kicked out of the organization, and then lose all support they have for growth (banks wouldn't loan to them, city workers wouldn't help with construction needs, etc). Basically bureaucracy making it difficult to be good to people. WTF.

Anywhoo, I'm off to a meeting <3

Here's a Rant For you

If my thoughts are in pink, maybs they'll seem less mean.

What they hey is up with this crap of people saying this is a Christian Nation!!?? Whatever happened to the first amendment?? It says the government cannot make a law respecting an establishment of religion or impeding the free exercise of religion. also, here's a quote from the 1797 Tripoli Treaty: "As the government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded in the Christian Religion". I'm not going to deny that many of the founders of our country were Christian, or did believe in some form of God, please keep in mind that Jesus WAS NEVER mentioned in any of the really biggie court documents regarding the founding. Yes there is a bit about us all being created equal, but keep in mind as well that many of these founders were Deist ,meaning they believe in a Creator but impersonal God (one you can't pray to, well you can, but he's not going to answer).

Its NOT a christian nation. it is a nation of Christians, and every other religion (and not religion) so just ignore ppl who say it is. PLEASE!!! its so ridiculous.

jean vanier = love

maybe Jesus dying and resurrection is a symbol of dying to your ego (selfishness, insecurities, prejudices, hate, fears,desire for power and recognition) and then rising in perfect or more perfect love. Except i don't think its a one time thing, its more of a continuous cycle of dying and rebirth, and each time maybe your inner peace and ability to love, understand and forgive becomes bigger (if that makes sense). it is one hell of a sacrifice to make, but it results in more peace and a deeper ability to Love unconditionally and to forgive and understand. As you let go of your ego, you are more aware of other's suffering and pain, and the reason behind their actions. Jean Vanier said that part of forgiveness is seeing the pain, suffering and reasons behind the action, and understanding the circumstances that lead to the person's action. Anyway, why can't I be more coherent??

anywho. thats all for now.

p.s. lol, this is from Jean Vanier, but i suddenly just connected it to the cross, resurrection, dying thing more clearly in my own mind after listening to my favorite song from my christian era, sweetly broken by jeremy riddle.

prayer

The other day in the Body and Soul magazine that comes to our house, I read an article about prayer. The article was written by a skeptic of religion who went on a retreat that involved prayer. At one point, she asked the retreat counselor to whom they were praying to. The counselor told her that it wasn't really about praying to someone, but rather expressing and articulating the deepest desires of your soul. Anyway. I think that is pretty cool! It is a good way to focus your mind, and to keep your thoughts on what you desire and want in life. anyway, I'll write more later.

This is more later too, that I wrote after the next more later, but it goes better here. OH shoot. I forgot what I was going to say blasssst.

Oh yea, so lets say you were praying to be more open minded, and to have less issues with wanting to be in control of situations even though its impossible to have control over everything. If you pray every night for that (directing your prayer to whoever/whatever), it will become imprinted in your mind and thoughts. Well I don't know if thats true, but thats what I am thinking. I think that is why many people write their deepest desires in a journal, so those desires are at the forefront of their thoughts, and they can't be overridden by daily distractions as easily.



This is more later. I was planning on trying to give up fartbook for lent (except for a few minutes every day) so i could focus more on focusing my mind. lol, did that make sense??? But I like writing notes too much, because the results are just way too funny. Really I only write these notes for myself, so I should just write them somewhere else, but then I'd probably lose them. plus, like i said, they are funny!! hahahahahahahahha love yall

Lent

Today I was learning about lent. I did not know this, but the word ‘lent’, back in the day, merely meant ‘springtime’. I mean I knew lent/Easter was all about new birth, re birth, creation and all that jazz, but it was nice to learn this (or maybe learn it again, because I most likely knew that already back in the day. I also got to listen to this one heck of an amazing lady!!! She is just the coolest lady ever, she’s been with l’Arche for 20 years, and is a Catholic sister. I met her a few weeks ago at this retreat for assistants, and man-o-man I liked this lady. She talked all about the interdependence of all things, and that we are a product of millions of years of evolution. She talked about us all having unique and irreplaceable beauty and gifts, and therefore we were the only person in the whole world that could offer what we could. Anyway, I completely agree with the idea of interdependence of ALL things, and that this is why we need to cooperate, sharing our gifts, receiving the gifts of others.
Anyway, at the community I am a part of, we are going through some serious transition and trying to figure out a lot of things. At one point, after hearing a lot of people say “we’ll just go with God’s plan”, she said something like, “remember that God doesn’t have a plan. We are co-creators, we are creating the world anew, your community anew, all we have to do is listen to one another” That just totally made me stop and want to jump out of my seat and hug her!!!!!! It was beautiful <3. We are part of this Universe, which is the closest thing to ‘Divine’ that I can possibly believe in. This Universe is constantly creating and re-creating itself, and we are part of that. Everything we do affects everything else, and one thing I never thought about that she said was, “If you do something for someone it is like doing it to yourself” . . . that’s just like Jesus. I mean just like something or other he said. Well actually I did think about that before, because I know from experience that doing things for others makes you feel so bubbly in side, and also you let go of your ego more and more when you do something for others. When you are an ass to others, you feel bad. Well anyway, she gave us this quote that she also gave us at the retreat. I don’t know who to credit for the quote but here it is, “"everything comes to being through relatedness is sustained through relationship and thrives on interdependence”. Think about it, its so true!!
Oh dear, I forget how I connected these two things together in the beginning, darn. Well lent/Easter, Springtime is new creation, and creation comes through things interrelating and cooperation and all that jazz.
Well the original point of my note was that anyone can participate in Lent then, even if they aren’t Christian. It’s a time for new beginnings, a new creation, re-creating your life. It is a time for personal re-birth, and a re-commitment to your values, your vision, your goals, etc. It takes a combination of things in order for your re-birth to realize itself. Catholics do prayer, almsgiving and fasting. I’m not really Catholic (at all) but I think they are on to something. Prayer is for keeping your mind focused on your goals/ aspirations/purpose/etc, almsgiving is giving of yourself (letting go of caring for yourself) and fasting is refraining from doing the things that keeps you away from realizing your aspirations. SWEEETT!!!!